


Corky, the Frat Boy

by sg_wonderland



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 13:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10663905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_wonderland/pseuds/sg_wonderland
Summary: Just because I think Jack would be an entertaining drunk.





	Corky, the Frat Boy

“I do not wish to haul O’Neill’s ass to the gate, Daniel Jackson.”

“Well, Daniel Jackson doesn’t want to either, so I suggest we wait till he sobers up.”

“I still think we should gate back home.”

“Just because he got high, Sam? Can you picture the look on General Hammond’s face if we gate back with Jack in this state? And what about Janet? I’m not dragging him to the infirmary in this shape, no way, no how. He’s in no danger; in fact, the only ones in danger are us, having to put up with him till he sobers up!”

“Daniel???”

He sighed. “Yes, Jack?”

“I hafta pee.”

Daniel shot Sam a see-what-I-mean look. “Come on, Corky, let’s walk the dog.”

Sam snickered. “Corky?”

“Oh, just help get him up.”

Between the three of them, they dragged him up off the ground; although Sam drew the line at actually helping the Colonel relieve himself. There was only so much any soldier should be called upon to do for their commanding officer. 

She obediently turned her back, but couldn’t help overhearing the unmistakable sound of a steady stream of water hitting foliage, swearing (who knew Daniel could curse so effectively, and in English?), Jack’s laughter and the grunts from Teal’c.

Daniel was still swearing when he and Teal’c dumped Jack, none too gently, under the tree on the edge of their campsite.

Sam tried to smooth over the rough edges. “You know the Colonel didn’t do this on purpose, Daniel.”

“That’s the only thing keeping me from throwing him in the lake.”

“Who knew that overdosing on allergy medicine could have that effect?”

“Well, I did!” Daniel flopped down beside Jack, who immediately snuggled up to him.

“But he didn’t. Give him a break, Daniel.”

“Arm or leg?” Daniel joked weakly. “Sorry, Sam. I do know he’s not doing this to make my life miserable, but, I swear, if he tries to kiss me one more time, I’m gonna slug him.”

Sam had to hide her grin. Jack had gotten very affectionate toward Daniel; she had simply avoided Jack and hoped for the best. Teal’c pretended not to notice.

Lowering herself on the other side of Daniel, she glanced over to see if Jack was still awake. She really couldn’t tell, but he was currently drooling all over Daniel’s sleeve. “So, Daniel...”

“Yeah?”

“Who’s Corky?”

“Huh? Oh, Corky. Corky, the frat boy.”

“Corky, the frat boy? OK, there’s got to be a story there. Give.”

“When I was in college...”

“Daniel, tell me you didn’t go to frat parties. You were what, twelve?”

Daniel’s baby blues could fire like laser beams when he was truly pissed. “I was not twelve and that is so not the point. When I was in college, I had a friend...”

“Whose name was Corky.” Sam interrupted helpfully.

Laser beams again. “Whose story is this? A friend named Joseph. Well, Joseph liked to go to frat parties, but he went undercover, cause he didn’t want his geek friends...”

“That would be you?”

“I swear if you interrupt me one more time, I’m gonna slug you too!”

“Sorry, carry on.”

“I ought to just leave you hanging. Anyway, when he went to the frat parties, he would take on a whole different persona. Party boy, not geek. So he gave himself a nom de party, Corky the frat boy. Joseph covered his trail pretty good until the hall director, who also happened to be staggering in very early one morning, spotted him trying to sneak back in. The jig was up, and Corky retired from the frat party circuit.”

“Poor Corky.”

“Poor Corky, my ass; he had his fun. Then he married the hall director’s only daughter. And the two of them are probably tapping a keg even as we speak. So I guess it all worked out in the end.”

“Daniel?”

He sighed wearily. “Yes, Jack?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Jack. Now shut the hell up and go to sleep.”

“But Daniel...”

“Jack, I swear, if you don’t shut up, I’m throwing you in the lake.”

“’kay.” He fell face forward across Daniel’s legs.

“For cryin’ out loud,” Daniel started to shove him over when he realized Sam was standing in front of them holding his video camera.

“Samantha Carter, if you expect to live to see tomorrow, I’d advise you to put that damned thing away. Immediately.”

“But, Daniel, please!!”

“If I have to get up and come over there, I’m gonna kick your ass, I swear to you!”

She reluctantly lowered the camera, keeping it turned on. What little she had managed to tape should be plenty. Besides, when Daniel took that tone, no one was safe. 

“You are so not fun, Daniel.”

“Bite me, Sam. Ouch, dammit, quit!” Daniel rolled Jack off his legs.

Sam and Teal’c both leaped forward. “Daniel Jackson, are you injured?”

“That son of a bitch bit me.”

“Bit you?” Even Teal’c was shocked.

“Yes, bit me! Ow.” Daniel was busy rubbing his leg.

“Let me see, Daniel.” That earned another glare from Daniel. “You know, that’s gonna be hard to explain at your post-mission physical.”

“That’s it, his ass is going in the lake.”

They all looked over at Jack, digging up dirt with his face.

“You can’t, Daniel.”

“Give me one good reason why I can’t.”

“O’Neill was only doing as he was instructed, Daniel Jackson.”

“I’m not buying that one.”

“Don’t you want to wait till he’s awake so you can really make him suffer?”

“Not particularly.”

“Daniel, at least let me look at it, put something on it.”

“You’re just loving this, aren’t you?”

“N...no,” she choked out.

“You know, there’s enough room in that lake for two,” Daniel looked up to see Teal’c facing away from him, his shoulders suspiciously shaking, “or three!” He stood and shucked his pants.

“Sit down, Daniel.” Sam crouched over his leg as he plopped down. “Ouch, that looks painful.”

“Just slap something on it and let me go kill Jack.”

She dabbed antiseptic over the already bruising area, wincing as she bandaged the nasty looking bite. “I’m sorry, Daniel.”

“Not half as sorry as Jack’s gonna be,” Daniel stood and jerked his pants back up.

“Daniel, just remember, he didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Daniel????”

“Yes, Jack?” Daniel’s voice was deceptively sweet.

“Can you come here?”

“Why, of course, Jack, I’ll be right there.” He knelt by Jack’s side.

“Carter said I hurt you?” The slur was nearly gone from his voice.

“Yes, Jack, you did.”

“Sorry, Dannyboy, didn’t mean it. Hit me.”

“What?”

“Slug me, pop me one, make you feel better.”

“As tempting as that is, I’m not going to hit you.”

“Please, Daniel, hit me. I’m ordering you to do it. Right now.”

“No, I can’t,” Daniel started to rise, but Jack suddenly snagged his arm. “Let go, Jack, you’re still drunk.”

“Starting to sober up here, Daniel. And I don’t like what I’m remembering. Did I just bite you?”

“You did indeed. Probably scarred me for life.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, me, too. Cause you’re gonna have to write a mission report. And you can explain to both Hammond and Dr. Fraiser how I came to have your teeth marks on my leg.”

“Ah, shit.” Jack paused. “Daniel?”

“Yeah?”

“Show me your scar?”

*

 

“So, sir, that explains how Daniel got a bite mark and Colonel O’Neill is now sporting a black eye. And Dr. Fraiser is pretty sure Daniel’s hand is broken.”

“Thank you, Major Carter, I can’t wait to read the mission report of this one. Dismissed.”

Hammond waited until the door was closed before he dropped his head onto the desk. Some days, it didn’t pay to get out of bed.


End file.
